Archive | March, 2014

Change

16 Mar

I sit, on my favourite leather recliner, and wonder aloud what I’m going to do with my day. Dave had a suggestion – write another blog – it’s been a while. But what is it I should write about? Well this is a blog about my life so maybe I’ll just start there…

I’ve started a new job recently. Only, it’s not just a job – it’s more of a complete lifestyle change. Working as a Registered Nurse, on a 24/7 roster has many challenges and adjustments (as the shift workers among you will realise). I’m sure these things will all fall into place with time, but at the start there are things to adjust to like:

  • Starting in a new role/place of employment – a challenge in its own rightImage
  • Working any day of the week, any hour of the day – no more 8.30pm bedtime every night!
  • It’s tentatively RSVP’ing because I don’t know my roster that far in advance
  • It’s going in to Dave’s work to meet him for lunch so we see an awake version of each other
  • And what about exercise… when do I exercise… before an early shift is just ridiculous… so maybe I’ll only exercise on days off… or late shifts…or…

As I have commenced my nursing career, I’ve found I have even more respect for nurses than before – they’re a busy bunch of people. Not only do they have to fit in what often seems like an impossibly big list of tasks, but they have to do it whilst caring for patients –taking the time to be there to help with any psychological concerns, not just the physical concerns.  I’ve started on a ward with a fantastic bunch of nurses – they are taking time to guide and teach me – even when the day is incredibly busy and the list of tasks seem endless.  I’m so thankful to them. My medical/surgical textbook has become bedtime reading; the pile of learning guides, assessments and competencies to complete has been extensive. However, I’m slowly finding my feet and starting to feel useful rather than a hindrance and I’m confident that under the guidance and direction of my colleagues I’ll get there – they don’t call it a graduate year for nothing!!

But as I sit here pondering the vast array of changes life has thrown at me in the last six months or so I’ve come to this conclusion…

I really don’t like change

I’m a person who prefers routine, stability, early nights and being confident in what I’m doing because I know my job, or I’ve done it before. I don’t like changes to life brought about by uncertainty, illness or injury….

maybe it’s more that I don’t like change I feel I can’t control…

or maybe when it all boils down to it, it’s not about change at all; it’s about control…

the truth of the matter is this:

I dislike not being in control (OUCH – it hurt to say that).

So where does that leave me? Well besides leaving me as a control freak, I think that it leaves me as imperfect and broken. I don’t think I’m the only person in this position – I’m reasonably confident in saying that there are not too many perfect people in the world. In fact, I think most of us could do with someone/something constant among the change:

  • a guide when we seek direction
  • a comforter when we’ve had a rough day (or month!)
  • a healer when we hurt
  • a voice of calm in the chaos

But the best news is – I know someone that can fulfill all these needs – God! My God is all these things and more:

  • A guide: Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path (Psalm 119:105)
  • A comforter: But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you (John 14:26)
  • A healer: Jesus healed all who were ill (Matthew 12:!5)
  • A peacemaker: Jesus stood up and commanded the wind, “Be quiet!” and he said to the waves, “Be still!” The wind died down, and there was a great calm (Mark 4:39)

I have to say that I’ve found a great sense of relief and peace from knowing that God is in control of my day – it takes all the stress away. I no longer have to fear change because I have a constant. God was the same yesterday, today and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8) and I know that he’s got my yesterdays, my todays and my tomorrows. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy – I try and take control back on a frustratingly regular basis (and it never ends well)  I do far better when I’m not stressed, not worrying…but Lamentations 3:22-24 (The Message) sums it up for me – God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.

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